I will never be able to describe what the criminal looks like. It would end up looking like this:

Police: Okay, sir, was the criminal a man or a woman?

Me: It was a man?

Police: Can you describe him?

Me: He was a black man.

Police: Anything special about his face?

Me: He was a handsome black man.

Police: Any other details?

Me: He was a very handsome black man.